Some Me of Beauty

There is something extremely scary about taking a self portrait with your phone camera, noticing the inner critic step in to berate your hair, your eyes, your nose, your ears, your wrinkles, your skin, your boobs, your hips (ok if you go that far!)  

I took ages to do mine
Now I love her

I could go on and on and on.  Yet what if you looked at yourself with love? Truly.  What if you looked in to your eyes and said, "yes".   

There has been magic happening lately as I have been privileged to capture the light in the eyes, the soulful expressions of a beautiful tribe of women that are part of Hannah Marcotti's Joy Up Alumni. I have so much inside me to say about Hannah and her programmes, I will come back for sure.  Let's just say they are really life changing and helped me move through feelings of grief. These women have been so incredibly supportive, kind, caring and healing for me.  

For now, let's fast forward to late December. 

As some of you may know, I have been working, quietly and secretly behind the scenes on a Wedding Commission for a young couple who are getting married in August 2013.  They came to me in August 2012 asking if I would create illustrations of their 60 guests, for wedding favours.  They intended for all the illustrations to form part of the table plan and be used in so many ways I can't say right now as NOBODY KNOWS.

I was delighted to be asked, and I also went into a little panic - how would I create them?  Normally I use canvas and layering with my illustrations.  I always start with my sketch and soulful interpretation of the individuals I'm painting, but I don't fill in all the detail until they are firmly secured to the canvas.  

They wouldn't be needing the entire canvas so how was this going to materialise. 

I set about testing different mediums.  No to watercolour - no offence watercolour, I like you but you're not 'poppy' enough.  How about my delectable prisma colour pencils - again no, I tried, but it wasn't for the main colour, maybe to add some detail.  Felts perhaps? Well yes,  felts have always been a firm staple diet of mine, I liked the colours but their mixing capability and blending were limited.  Then I remembered I had a few Letraset pro markers.

I tried. I fell in love. Again.

I realised there was so much more to them. Being used for the base, blending and layering, but hell there were so many other pen/marker possibilities to add to the illustrations. I ADORE Pens. Did I ever tell you this?  I can't walk past a stationary shop.

Anyway I was hooked.

So I carried on with my wedding commission.  

Until December when I had no more to do as I was waiting for a new batch to arrive.

I shared them with the Joy Up Tribe in our private group and asked if anyone would be interested in me soulfully illustrating them, thinking a few may respond.  70 said yes!

So fast forward 6 weeks and I have a plethora of beautiful women in front of me.  It is taking me in a completely new direction and I am firmly, finally, planting my ART FEET FORWARD.

I integrate reiki symbols within these healing reflections. I sit and mediate with them so when they're sent out or scanned, they're on their mission to bring JOY and HEALING.

Ultimately they're Love In Colour.

I am now developing this whole new layer and redeveloping my website and my etsy shop.

Taking this forward to send out to the world.

I'm excited to step into this new chapter.

Ok I'm so pleased I have written a new blog post as I hadn't done one in 4 months, almost didn't want to remove the last one because of Lucy Loo.

I have done it. So that's broken the ice.

Watch this space for more. 

Have you ever come across Carolyn Rogers poem? It sums up all that I'm doing:

And I asked myself could it

Have turned

Overnight?

Knowing full well greyness

Had been

Coming and had even

Been there

A while

Just like that I woke up one

Morning

And I looked at myself

And what I saw was

Carolyn

Not imanji ma jua or soul

Sistah poetess of

The moment

I saw a woman. Human and

Black.

I felt a spiritual

Transformation

A root revival of

love

And I knew that many

Things

Were Over

And Some me of

Beauty

Was

About to begin.

Some Me of Beauty is about to BEGIN

Much Love

Jules ♥

My Lucy and The Squirrel's Message

I have held back from writing this blog post and in working out why, I realise that, to publish it, makes this post real and final.

I don't want that to be.  

But it is.

It has been such a heartbreaking time, as my lovely Lucy passed over on the 15th September.  It happened so quickly. Her health declined in one week, she was diagnosed with a dynamic heart murmur on Fri 7th September.

By Sat 15th she had gone.

It turned out that the murmur was not caused by heart disease but by tumours.  Now I look back and see that she had been dealing with the changes in her body and yet, there were no outward signs, up until Wed 5th when all night I was kept awake by her shallow breathing and I took her to an emergency vet as we were in Dorset.  On returning to Liverpool I took her for a second opinion to the Vet where I had taken her when she was a wee one, before the partners split and I made the choice to go with the other partner.  

Lucy was attacked by a Japanese Akita when she was 14 weeks old and ended up having surgery to remove a stomach tear.  I guess I am exceptionally lucky to have had my life with Lucy all these years when it could have been a whole different scenario.

I am getting some comfort from writing about Lucy - she was my child, we had gone through so much together, 14 years of joy - all joy.  I haven't been fortunate enough to have children in my life, Lucy was that baby and young child. She helped me through getting over my divorce, she moved with me everywhere, she made me get up in the morning, she came everywhere with me, my heart smiled when I was with her, and beamed when I knew I was going home to her.  I sang her my own little songs and had my own language with her.  She knew what I was saying and I knew what she was saying.  

We talked daily. 

We heard her each other.

I have never told anyone this.  

Not having her with me, physically, has blasted me open.

Since last June, when Lucy suffered from the Vestibular Attack, I have given her Reiki healing on a daily basis and the night before she passed, I spent all night with my hands gently placed in front of her, giving her Reiki and communicating with her. 

"I love you so much Lucy, it's alright if you need to go, Lucy"

"We've had such good times together, you'll always be in my heart"

"Let me know you're ok, come back and tell me?"

These past 2 weeks, I have written many words and cried lots of tears.  I know this will pass, I know that I will love another, but I won't love another Lucy because she was just uniquely cheeky and loving all wrapped up in an adorable furry package. 

Her dying is symbolic for a time in my life that has ended.  

It is symbolic for a new period in my life without her and what that means.

Losing her has reminded me of something, stirring within me.

Something I need to sit with for the next few weeks.

A week after Lucy passed, I left for work at 7.45, there's a tree outside our home on the wide paved area - Lucy loved this tree, we call it "Lucy's tree".  She always stopped here before we went anywhere else to do her wee, checking out the neighbourhood news.  

As I closed the front door behind me, a squirrel ran across the road and up the tree, about 3 feet, stopped, and looked at me, climbed up a little more, looked at me (I was standing sooooo still, looking at the squirrel) and then, with that, mr squirrel ran down the tree and back over the road.  

In the 6 and half years living here, there has never been a squirrel up that tree.

Never.

Ok, maybe I'm looking into this, but I feel that this is a sign that Lucy is ok, and somehow she wanted me to know that.  Lucy spent the majority of her life chasing squirrels, up trees. She never caught one, but she loved chasing them.  

All I had to say was

"Lucy, there's Cyril. Look!"

And she was off.

So Mr Squirrel had a message for me.  

Thank you Cyril.

L-R Lucy aged 3, 8, 9 & 11 

I have thousands of photos of Lucy of these past 14 years and these past 5, there's tonnes of video too... I love watching them, I feel close to her.  

I know this past year I have recorded so much more, because somewhere inside of me, I knew that our time was precious. 

I'll do something with them, if just for myself to go and meet with her, when I want to.

I have just found this of Lucy in May 2012.  We had a couple of beautiful weeks here in UK and I took Lucy somewhere she loved, Calderstones Park, it had a pond, and lots to explore.  Looking at her here, jumping on the tree logs, you wouldn't think there's something brewing.  But there was. 

A month after her Vestibular, her 13th birthday

The day before Lucy passed over, age 14 years 2 months.

You'll always be with me Lucy. This quote has meant alot to me recently:

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them.

And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart.

If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, 

and I will become as generous and loving as they are."

Much Love
Jules xxxx

How I'm Ploughing On With My Wisdom Cards. Having a Melt Down And Moving Into My New Studio Space

It has been an Internet free zone round our place during August as our router faded out.  At first I was fine about it and welcomed the change, then ... it just got too much.  

I haven't blogged and felt very disconnected from webland.  It has been mighty strange.  

I started to look at things very differently.  I began to step back into my own inner self.  I began to read things I had written and looked at everything around me with a fresh pair of eyes.  

I began to start writing my Healing eBook; which will be available for download by the End of September (did you read that Jules? You just put that goal right out there and now you have to follow it through!)

I had a melt down about not having children and it has opened up the floodgates.  I'll share this with you soon.

Everything came back on 10 days ago and since then I have moved into my little studio space.  I spent some time in there today and it was so incredibly peaceful, even with the humming of the extractor fan from the Turkish restaurant next door.  

I felt serene and calm as I created and wrote.  

It feels like I am entering a new focused phase.  

I have a wonderful new BIG commission which is making me look at different ways of creating.  I'll reveal more of this too.

All is good.  All is well. 

With that in mind, here's my latest write up of my Wisdom Card.  

Please enjoy, sending much love to you 

All is Well 

Release the Negativity. Explore any resistance and relax in the knowledge that you are able to heal.   You have the power.  You can change the way you approach the situation you face.

Background to the card:

This card was inspired by Louise Hay, Author, Metaphysical Teacher and founder of Hay House.  I was first introduced to her book You Can Heal Your Life almost 24 years ago when I was ill with M.E/CFS (myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome).  It was passed to me when I was in the depths of ill health. I was just embarking on my ‘back to health plan’, using a variety of complementary approaches and healing methods and when I read this book I realised immediately that it was going to accompany me to find my own way back.  I was transported into a metaphysical word that showed me I had the power.  I wasn’t waiting for one solution.  I was going to find many and use them all.   I devoured the book and used Louise’s morning and evening meditations – they helped me to learn to meditate and create a practice, it gave me extra courage to heal myself. 

The meaning behind the card:

If you picked this card today it is a reminder for you also that you can heal yourself.  Whatever is going on, perhaps a persistent long-term health problem, you can become your own investigator and learn some simple healing ways.  One of the lessons I learnt all those years ago was to tune out from negativity that is streamed from television, radio and even people in our lives. The first to go was late night news and radio.  I realised I didn’t want to tap into this negative drip-feed.  The world is not defined by bad news.  My world had to be optimistic and encouraging.  I had to see a way through this ill-health.  I wasn’t opting out, I was becoming more focused and directed about healing myself.  I tried everything you can name and settled on the therapies and practices that complemented my healing programme.

 

This card asks you to switch off from the negativity of your life.  Let it go.

Don’t tap into the drip feed of negativity.

The symbolism and colour of this card is very important.  The colour surrounding this beautiful woman is turquoise, once again representing the throat chakra and our communication centre, with the dragonfly placed here it signifies ‘Illusion’.  According to Sams and Carson, ‘the veil of negativity that we accept as our reality, is in fact, incorrect.  It may be time for you to break down the illusion you have held that restricts your actions or ideas.  Dragon fly asks you to seek out parts of you that need to change.” 

How to use this card:

This card asks of you to explore your resistance and relax in the knowledge that you are able to heal.   You have the power.  You can change the way you approach the situation you face.  Follow the image and place one hand over your naval area and one hand over your heart. Close your eyes and breathe through you nose for 7 seconds, then hold this breath for 7.  Exhale for a count of 7 through your mouth.  Really let go.  Then hold for another count of 7 and breathe in once again, counting 7 through the tips of your fingers.

Sit quietly, breathing in this way, for a round of 7.  Feel the gentle white speckles of white sunshine trickling over you, like a gentle shower of light bubbles.  Healing light bubbles, clearing negativity away from your body.   Know that you can do this at any time during you day.  Again and Again. 

This card is a reminder to do just that.

* * * * *

I'm creating a set of 44 Wisdom Cards and Book -  each card will be inspired by someone who has meant something to me, someone who has inspired me or taught me something.  They could be people I know, or people I don't know, living or passed over. They may be people I have seen from afar.  They may also be animals and elements from the planet around me.  They may also be from dreamtime and with symbolism that I can’t recognise.  What I know for sure is, it will all unfold.  If you'd like to read more about this project, click here

Much Love

Jules xxx

PS Text may change in final copy.

All photographs and text copyright of Julia Dolowicz 2012

Still No Internet, here's my next Wisdom Card-Maintain the Balance

In this next card, I reveal the inspiration behind Maintain The Balance.  I hope you find something that resonates with you.  Much love, Jules xxx

Maintain The Balance:

  

Maintain the balance in your current situation. Incorporate healing practices into your life that help you come back to centre.

Background to the card:

Inspired by my Australian friend Gaille, with very strong and ancient Scottish roots she was propelled forward to leave her native Australia and begin her life in Scotland. It didn’t happen swiftly, there was great change and upheaval, but her soul yearned for her Scottish Land and soon enough, she found her self immersed in the heart of North East Scotland, in the grounds of an old Castle.  Gaille’s profession as a forensic anthropologist sees her traveling all over the world to scenes of devastation.  In such an emotionally draining job, she maintains a calm and centred presence.  One minute she’s in the midst of carnage, the next she’ll be still in meditation.  It isn’t an easy practice for her to manage, but it is a necessity. 

The meaning behind the card:

If this card has fallen into your card reading, it is asking you to maintain the balance in your current situation.  The message that you hear may be different every time this card appears.  At times, it may nudge you to incorporate balancing practices in your life.  If your job is hectic and fraught, how can you balance this with something that brings you back to centre?  Maybe, Meditation, Music, Dance, Performance, Art, DIY, Sport?

The importance is for you is to maintain a balance and become realigned.  Perhaps you’re feeling a pull to a different way of life, the wisdom behind the card prompts you to explore the options and find small ways to move closer.  This is not about jumping and leaping, it’s relating to equilibrium and integrating a practice that allows you to re-calibrate. 

How to use this card:

Use this powerful image in quiet meditation or some solitary time will be very balancing for you.  Her eyes hold your gaze and by looking in them you can begin to feel a sense of balance.  It is almost like gazing at a mirror where she invites you to quieten your mind, breathing consciously and notice what you find in the image.  There is nothing to distract you except her beckoning, balancing eyes. 

Note down how you’re feeling in reading this wisdom.  Do you feel a pull to trace your past, or explore an ancient family town, city or area?  Do you feel a tug to incorporate or learn meditation? What is calling you?  How will you respond to this call?

Look into the eyes of this Celtic Goddess and feel your body respond.  There are swirls of energy underneath the canvas, whirls of movement, yet they’re balanced and symmetrical.  The metallic blue of the background is the blue that responds to your throat chakra, the centre of communication.  Remain centred and balanced, express your thoughts to yourself in your writing.  

* * * * *

I'm creating a set of 44 Wisdom Cards and Book -  each card will be inspired by someone who has meant something to me, someone who has inspired me or taught me something.  They could be people I know, or people I don't know, living or passed over. They may be people I have seen from afar.  They may also be animals and elements from the planet around me.  They may also be from dreamtime and with symbolism that I can’t recognise.  What I know for sure is, it will all unfold.  If you'd like to read more about this project, click here

Jules xxx

PS Text may change in final copy.

All photographs and text copyright of Jules Dolly/Julia Dolowicz 2012

Respond to Dreamtime - another Jules Dolly Wisdom Card

I am revealing another Wisdom Card.  I am so enjoying doing these; the paintings and the inspiration that comes with creating these pieces of art, but moreso I'm delighting in the wisdom and messages that are coming through.  This has been quite a unique experience for me.  I am finally allowing the messages to come through and honour the healer within me.  

I grew up in quite a traditional/religious environment, which was fine for me, to a point. Growing up, I was always questioning my own spirituality and my connection to the Divine. Asking question after question about why we did this and why we did that.  My appetite for some connection was insatiable.    I never fully engaged with the observance of my religion but I did very much so engage with the spirituality of life and the universe.  

I feel more connected than ever to the Divine. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Respond to Dreamtime

Listen to the whispers in Dreamtime and respond to them.  Become aware of the messages you’re receiving and notice subtle reactions.

Background to the card:

John Lennon is the inspiration for the wisdom of this card.  He appeared to me in a dream about 22 years ago.  I was very ill at the time with M.E/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and dreamtime provided me with very many messages.  I took note of the messages and kept them close to me.  This message remains with me to this very day.

He appeared in the garden at my childhood home, materialising on a magic carpet, transforming before my eyes from baby to man.  I just knew it was him; he had this glow about him and of course, his guitar. The flowers in our garden were abundant and the door he walked through shone with bright yellow light.

There was a gathering in the garden; a party of sorts and John came right up to me and looked me straight in the eye.

“Do you believe there’s a universal force out there?”

“Yes, I do,” I replied.

“Do you believe you will get better?

“Yes, I do,” I nodded once again.

With that he took hold of me and gave me the most incredible hug and squeeze.  I felt elated and knew, right there and then, that I was going to get better and that I would heal myself.  

John came to launch the healing process with a little bit of pizzazz.

The meaning behind the card:

If this card drops into your reading today, let John Lennon be the inspiration for this card.  It reminds you to listen to the whispers in Dreamtime and respond to them.  We all have to take responsibility for our own self and move forward in the very best direction we possibly can.  In a direction that makes us feel ‘whole’, ‘healed’, ‘well’ and ‘healthy.  Whatever it is for you right at this very moment, the card is guiding you to remember that you can read the messages from Dreamtime and notice your subtle reactions to them. 

Have you dreamt of something recently that you’re still holding? If so, can you work out the meaning? Is there a message coming through your unconscious mind, a spiritual guide that you keep pushing away?

For me, this dream had quite an impact.  It was extremely vivid and bright; full of sharp colours and the squeeze that I felt, carried me through my healing process.  I was a Beatle fan but not necessarily a John Lennon fan but this sparked my interest to know much more about the man, his beliefs, his ethics and passions.  If someone has appeared to you in a dream, maybe you are being guided to find out more about them. If it's a symbol, an animal, or maybe a person you don't know, then research the hidden meanings.

How to use this card:

This card asks you to record your dreams but more so, to respond to them.  Look back at your Dreamtime notes and see if there’s wisdom peeping through.  What do you need to know?  Write out anything that is remembered first thing in the morning, upon waking.  Do this for a month and go back, review your words and respond to the messages.  If you need to find out more information, do so.

* * * * *

I'm creating a set of 44 Wisdom Cards and Book - each card will be inspired by someone who has meant something to me, someone who has inspired me or taught me something.  They could be people I know, or people I don't know, living or passed over. They may be people I have seen from afar.  They may also be animals and elements from the planet around me.  They may also be from dreamtime and with symbolism that I can’t recognise.  What I know for sure is, it will all unfold.  If you'd like to read more about this project, click here or if you’d like to see some of my other Wisdom Cards, click here

Much Love

Jules xxx

PS Text may change in final copy.

All photographs and text copyright of Jules Dolly/Julia Dolowicz 2012

Pass The Memory On: Here I share another Jules Dolly Wisdom Card

It's my birthday today so no time like today to reveal one of the next 4 Wisdom Cards that I have completed.  If you'd like to read about the others you can here and here.

I'm creating a set of 44 Wisdom Cards and Book - each card will be inspired by someone who has meant something to me, someone who has inspired me or taught me something.  They could be people I know, or people I don't know, living or passed over, or they may be people I have loved from afar, animals and elements from the planet around me, from dreamtime and with symbolism that I can’t recognise.  What I know for sure is, it will all unfold.  If you'd like to read more about this project, click here

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Pass The Memory On

  

Keep alive the personalities and characters of those people in your past and share the memories with those in your present.

Background to the card:

This card is inspired by my Grandpa Julius.  I never met him as he died 8 years before I was born, but I was named after and although I never knew him or met him, his memory has been kept going by my mum, his daughter.  She carried on telling us about him, his ‘sayings’, his quirks, his heartaches and there was always a relevant story to share when both my sister and I went through problems or exciting developments in our lives. 

I have a bundle of letters that Grandpa Jules wrote to my mother whilst he was in hospital in 1959.  Unfortunately he collapsed on the night of her wedding after she had left for her honeymoon.  Nobody told her.   Of course at that time, you just wouldn’t want to worry a newly married couple.  If only she had known how precious those next sixth months would be. 

His letters tell of his stoic attitude towards his healing. He never wrote about his life fading on this earth but talked often of his sadness at not being able to share in her new life. In one of his letters he writes, “please thank everyone who is enquiring after me” and he went on to mention how sad he felt when the nursing staff forgot to tell him, one morning, that mum had telephoned.  He noted, “they look after our bodies but never our minds.”

The meaning behind the card:

If this card has appeared to you, it comes to give you a powerful message of passing memories on. Maybe you seek information about family members long ago, this card invites you to create your own family book that records the people who may be forgotten. 

The painting is of a younger Julius, a tailor by profession, who was very adept at creating wonderful suits and dresses. As I was creating this image and the surrounding painting I was pulled to bring him into the current day and give him a vibrant colourful shirt and include his sewing machine.  This was a part of his very essence.  The painting also contains photocopies of the letter he had written, including copies of the stamps from the time in1959. 

How to use this card:

The card appearing to you is a nudge to go and speak to older relatives in your family or community to find out more.  Ask them about their relatives and about their lives gone-by.  Video them, take photos and create memories.  Keep them safe.   Pass them on.  After all, it was my mum who kept these 63 year old letters safe and passed on his memory to me.   Contemplate on this card – do you wish to know more about someone in your family/community?  Would you like to record this for your future relations? Do you want to write more letters to loved ones? Feel what resonates with you and know this card is a reminder to act on it. 

* * * * *

Much Love

Jules xxx

PS Text may change in final copy.

All photographs and text copyright of Julia Dolowicz