I took a BIG decision to move my blog over to my Website. It felt better to have everything in one place. So please pop on over there, where lots of magic is happening.
Monday, 18 February 2013
I'm feeling off kilter today - there's a tingle in my stomach and an anxious feeling I just can't fathom.
I feel like an old fashioned metronome sitting on top of a piano, tick-tocking from side to side.
I chose a word for 2013, a word I wanted to incorporate into my life. That word was Alignment.
To Align - to come together in agreement or alliance.
I wanted to allow all I do to all come together in agreement, to aligner, from à ligne ‘into line.’
For me, alignment is about everything that is meant to get into line, that's meant to be there. Art, Healing, Writing. Consequently, the other things I do, will become less prominent.
So what is this off kilter feeling all about?
Today, I feel rushed and panicked and as if everything is spiralling out of control.
There's something wobbly about today.
Is anyone else feeling this?
I have got a tonne of marking to do, which I'm feeling stressed about. It's my main source of income and one that I am very grateful for, yet the deadlines every week are tough and I find that when they're released, I then worry am I going to get them done? I do them at all sorts of time of the day, trying to make sure I can get the bulk done. Every day I wake up thinking I have 'statements to mark'. It's the first thing that pops into my head. They have to take priority, when my heart wants to create, draw, heal and write.
Last night I revealed my etsy shop to the world. (well Facebook, at least!)
I woke up this morning to find that I have had two sales. I was so, so excited.
Today I cocked up on a drawing. I was so keen to be "Miss Perfect" that I smudged the face and had to start all over again when she was all ready and finished.
So why the wobble? Surely I should be on cloud 9.
Sitting here this morning before I began anything, I wrote:-
"There's a part of me that's saying 'what the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you have enough to do? Having a shop. Pah! Who do you think you are?'
There's so much going on here.
I'm getting closer to my authenticity and it's sending me into the wobbles.
The ego self is trying to pull me back down.
Keep me safe.
I feel Scared and Excited
Hassled and Calm
In trying to work this out, I realise that I'm touching upon my hearts' desire
and yet I still have so much else to do that doesn't resonate with this hearts' desire.
But I have to do it.
What is going on?
I want to write yet I don't find time to write
I have a third book inside ready to come out
It has bubbled away for 3 years now.
Yet I don't seem to find this time.
Days merge into nights.
Work days merge into weekends.
There's no shut off time.
I find little time for exercise or getting outside.
Connecting with nature.
I see photos of beaches, skies and mountains
My heart yearns to be near them.
I eek out time for friends and family.
Yet it's not enough.
I stare at a screen for the most part of the day.
Dear Miss Julia
There is no solution right now.
You don't have to know the answers
You just have to let this out
Right here, right now
So you can wash it off
When you press 'Publish'
PS now go play ♥
Sunday, 17 February 2013
Back in December I posted a photo on Instagram of an illustration I had recently done and I received a message back from Pip who lives in France. She was having a totally new kitchen in her french farmhouse and really wanted something of them.
Them? Ok, so I initially thought it was 4 of them.
Then it seemed there was, Humphrey and Maude, their two Bassett hounds, Ethel the miniature Daschund, Ralph (not quite sure if he is a Bassett cross) and there was Mary. Mary is the beautiful grey dappled horse. Oh and have I forgotten to tell you about Ruby the Greenwing Macaw.
So here I was faced with 4 adults and their furry family. 10 in total. I later found out that this was just a mere 5% of their family as they have so many animals that I wouldn't have been able to fit them on the paper!
|Sketch Number One with dogs needing changes!|
I got straight into it and did an initial sketch which I sent to her. She gave me access to her Facebook photos and there were just reams and reams of them. It made me realise that I actually wanted to go and take photos of them all, including all of the animals because it's the little markings that are important. I'm not a portrait artist who does things exactly. You guessed that right?!?! When you get my piece, it's my interpretation of you. In a whimsical and soulful way.
I realised that after sending this to her that the doggies weren't looking that great!!! They were indeed more squatter and had legs and feet that were crooked! So I re-sketched and looked at the composition again. This was better. I always like to know what clothes you want to be dressed in, so made all the changes that were asked.
|Sketch Number Two|
I have to be honest, I have never drawn a horse before so was a little anxious about this. But Mary had such a presence in her photos that I loved drawing her. Obviously I wasn't going to draw all of her but the face is start. Yep! I wondered if I could replicate the dogs and their little ways. Using promarkers helps to add tone and depth but I needed something more. So bring out the prisma colour pencils. They were used to add detail and enhance the animal's features. Then add in all my lovely pens and ink.
I am really delighted with how this turned out and was excited to pack it off and send to them in France. As I use a bleed proof paper, which is very thin, I was able to replace Humphrey and Maude at the centre, rather than at the end in the original sketch. Having cut them out, I then backed this on to another piece of paper to give strength and enable them to mount and frame it.
I'm so excited to see where it will reside in their new french kitchen.
I'm going to be doing more of these so watch this space ♥
Sunday, 10 February 2013
When I began my drawings of the lovely women in Hannah Marcotti's Joy Up Group, I didn't know where this would lead me.
My heartfelt wish and intention was to continue creating my portrait illustrations and I was still feeling like I needed to reconnect to my self through my art, I was still feeling so lost without Lucy and I just adored taking the photograph they gave me and intuitively responding to it.
Loran very kindly said I could share the photo she gave me to draw her Soul Portrait and I am so excited to do so. When I saw her picture for the first time, I adored her glasses. She also sent me an email telling me her love of purple and calla lilies asking if there was any way I could incorporate this into her Soul Portrait.
Loran wrote to me to tell me how she felt when she saw her Soul Portrait
"I have been on pins and needles waiting for this and it is Wonderful! Thank you sooooo much. Love it!" She then later went on to write to me:-
"What came to mind when I saw my picture was Seth Godin's post on "Ridiculous is the new Remarkable." I think my glasses are silly but they are fun and light-hearted. One of my intentions for this year came from a message I received from the hummingbirds in my yard last summer - Lighten Up. So, when I had my professional photo shoot done in New York in September, I took my pompoms, tiara and glasses with me! I am loving being more playful and when I see my profile picture, that's what I am reminded to be. My Soul Portrait reminds me to Lighten Up and that captures it all. It feels right".
* * *
Thank you so much Loran for being the first reveal and for your lovely words. I am in the process of going live with my Soul Portraits. I'm stocking up and will be revealing all soon.
Sunday, 27 January 2013
There is something extremely scary about taking a self portrait with your phone camera, noticing the inner critic step in to berate your hair, your eyes, your nose, your ears, your wrinkles, your skin, your boobs, your hips (ok if you go that far!)
|I took ages to do mine|
Now I love her
I could go on and on and on. Yet what if you looked at yourself with love? Truly. What if you looked in to your eyes and said, "yes".
There has been magic happening lately as I have been privileged to capture the light in the eyes, the soulful expressions of a beautiful tribe of women that are part of Hannah Marcotti's Joy Up Alumni. I have so much inside me to say about Hannah and her programmes, I will come back for sure. Let's just say they are really life changing and helped me move through feelings of grief. These women have been so incredibly supportive, kind, caring and healing for me.
For now, let's fast forward to late December.
As some of you may know, I have been working, quietly and secretly behind the scenes on a Wedding Commission for a young couple who are getting married in August 2013. They came to me in August 2012 asking if I would create illustrations of their 60 guests, for wedding favours. They intended for all the illustrations to form part of the table plan and be used in so many ways I can't say right now as NOBODY KNOWS.
I was delighted to be asked, and I also went into a little panic - how would I create them? Normally I use canvas and layering with my illustrations. I always start with my sketch and soulful interpretation of the individuals I'm painting, but I don't fill in all the detail until they are firmly secured to the canvas.
They wouldn't be needing the entire canvas so how was this going to materialise.
I set about testing different mediums. No to watercolour - no offence watercolour, I like you but you're not 'poppy' enough. How about my delectable prisma colour pencils - again no, I tried, but it wasn't for the main colour, maybe to add some detail. Felts perhaps? Well yes, felts have always been a firm staple diet of mine, I liked the colours but their mixing capability and blending were limited. Then I remembered I had a few Letraset pro markers.
I tried. I fell in love. Again.
I realised there was so much more to them. Being used for the base, blending and layering, but hell there were so many other pen/marker possibilities to add to the illustrations. I ADORE Pens. Did I ever tell you this? I can't walk past a stationary shop.
Anyway I was hooked.
So I carried on with my wedding commission.
Until December when I had no more to do as I was waiting for a new batch to arrive.
I shared them with the Joy Up Tribe in our private group and asked if anyone would be interested in me soulfully illustrating them, thinking a few may respond. 70 said yes!
So fast forward 6 weeks and I have a plethora of beautiful women in front of me. It is taking me in a completely new direction and I am firmly, finally, planting my ART FEET FORWARD.
I integrate reiki symbols within these healing reflections. I sit and mediate with them so when they're sent out or scanned, they're on their mission to bring JOY and HEALING.
Ultimately they're Love In Colour.
I am now developing this whole new layer and redeveloping my website and my etsy shop.
Taking this forward to send out to the world.
I'm excited to step into this new chapter.
Ok I'm so pleased I have written a new blog post as I hadn't done one in 4 months, almost didn't want to remove the last one because of Lucy Loo.
I have done it. So that's broken the ice.
Watch this space for more.
Have you ever come across Carolyn Rogers poem? It sums up all that I'm doing:
And I asked myself could it
Knowing full well greyness
Coming and had even
Just like that I woke up one
And I looked at myself
And what I saw was
Not imanji ma jua or soul
Sistah poetess of
I saw a woman. Human and
I felt a spiritual
A root revival of
And I knew that many
And Some me of
About to begin.
Some Me of Beauty is about to BEGIN